Thursday, September 30, 2010

Mehalschventisartigarithan!!!! Aw c'mon! Hurry up already!

So recently I have been trying to figure out what to do with my hair. It is at that awkward mid length that I absolutely hate.








At the beginning of this summer I was about to make a huge mistake and just cut it all off again to the cute little A-line hair cut that I had and loved like this...
But that's not what I REALLY want.

I want my long hair back. It would just be so easy to change it all and make it cuter by cutting it, and it would take 5 minutes as oppose to the 5 years its taking to grow my golden locks all back out to my waist. Needless to say my patience is running out.

When I was little (before Jr High) I had hair that was so long I could put it in a pony tail, whip it around, and smack my brother in the face with it without even being that close to him. Which is totally the reason why I'm growing it out again................ not really.


I absolutely LOVE the way it looks and feels. How it wraps around my arms and shoulders as I walk through the wind, or how it trails after me as I swing, how long it takes to wring out after it gets wet, how the bottom of it still falls to the middle of my back even when it is up in a ponytail, how you rarely see someone with hair naturally that long anymore. We all run out of patience.

Maybe this is a result of my prayer for that. Patience, I mean. It's like a test. Can I take it or not. Well I'm up for the challenge. I've made it this far haven't I?

This is how I really want it to look. Totally doable, especially since that's exactly how my hair grows. Straight then wavy at the ends.
The other thing I have been contemplating is the color. I used to have a million colors underneath my blonde hair. I had black underneath with red, purple, brunette, and orange peekaboo colors throughout. So much fun. I have kindof been itching to add some color underneath again to get me through this boring stage, but I haven't totally decided yet.

I have to think with the end in mind.
1) Adding color means one day I'll have to take it out. That is, unless I want to have multi-colored hair till I'm 100.
2) This also means bleach and other icky chemicals that will completely ruin the strength and softness leaving it brittle and constantly frizzy and tangled.
3) There's no other way to get darker colors out of blonde hair.
4) The bleached part will ever even match my natural color again until it grows out. (5 more years?? Yuck)

Hmmm....

I guess the bottom line is, Patience, patience, patience. And lots of vitamins and minerals and good shampoo and conditioner and protein!!! MMM i love protein!!! So I guess I've decided, (over the course of writing this blog) that, indeed, it shall be worth it to wait.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Moving for More than the Sake of Motion

I hate change, but I hate getting caught up in the same-ol'-same-ol' routine even more. It's a pretty vicious cycle. Since the beginning of this year I have slowly stopped doing things that are out of the ordinary when it comes to my daily life. That's just lame.

I get up in the morning, go to work, come home, cook dinner, relax for a few hours, sleep, start over, 5 days a week. Then to end the weekend, I go to Church, hang out with a few friends, clean the apartment, then back to work. This is my comfort zone. This is what I love. I like coming home to the same nice clean house, hanging out and laughing with the same friends, remembering the times we had together doing the same thing years before, etc. Too bad that's not what I really like. Confusing huh?

I love adventure. I love getting my feet off the ground and doing things that most people would be absolutely terrified to do. I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love leaping with faith and trusting that my Father is going to catch me. I love meeting and growing closer to new people and finding out that God has more for me than this little picture I like to call my life.

It's not a fear of dying that keeps me tied to the ground when it comes to facing things that are risky, because I know if I die on earth I will live on with my Savior in Heaven. I'm afraid of losing time. Time in heaven is meaningless. Time on earth is everything. We only have so much time here. It could be till tomorrow, it could be till I'm 80 and have no teeth left. Only God knows.

The big question is, what am I going to DO with the time I have here? I'm pretty sure God didn't want me to be okay with sitting around my whole life.

My earthly body just wants to live in peace without any risk of being uncomfortable, but God asks me to live and to make myself uncomfortable for the sake of Him. Now for some people it's hard to see how climbing a mountain, or riding a roller coaster brings me closer to Him, but it does. I learn to Trust.

If I can trust God to keep me safe when I'm scared to risk my life doing something, I can trust Him to stand by me when I am scared to share my faith with people who may persecute me.


I don't like being comfortable here on earth. This is not my home. I don't want to be okay with hiding away and living for the sake of living, doing the same thing every day, because if there ever comes a time when God says "I want you to trust me on this one." I want to be able to jump in with both feet without a second thought as to whether or not it's going to hurt.

At any moment my time here could be cut short, and my job here on earth could be finished, but we don't really think about that when we're at the grocery store, or talking with friends, or sitting at the coffee house reading our favorite book, cause, what could happen? It's the things that are out of the ordinary and uncomfortable that remind me very well that my life is in God's hands, not mine.

So if something tragic happens, I can trust that it is fully in God's plan. If I find myself alone, I'll immediately realize that I'm not. If someone I dearly love, who loves Him is called home, I know I can keep moving forward because, hey, when I get to heaven, I want to have more stories to tell them right? If I become overwhelmed with anxiety I can trust that God has whatever is stressing me out totally under control.

It's nice to know that I can live, with faith like a child, relying on my Father to take me wherever He knows is best. Why should I ever have to worry?

God is in Control.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Homesick

Revelation 21:3-5

3
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." 5He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."'

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Oh, Hello Mr. Giant Monster! You Don't Scare Me!


I am thoroughly convinced that I will never ever stop learning, and I never want to. It's interesting how through different stages of life you encounter the same thing multiple times, but each time you react totally different than the time before. Part of it has to do with the new knowledge gained from the previous experience, some of it has to do with the support system around you, some of it has to do with your attitude, some of it has to do with what other factors are weighing in to the situation, it goes on and on.

Every now and then you run into a bump in the road that in reality is minuscule, but when it's all you can see, it becomes a mountain that seems impossible to climb. This past month I came upon my mountain, again. "I know how to do this" I thought to myself, remembering the countless times before when I had fought and conquered the battle to the top, but still it doesn't matter how many times I have conquered it before, it's completely overwhelming.

I hate feeling completely hopeless, staring into the face of the monster that I have to fight every time he shows up in my life. It feels so good to know that I have God on my side, with His strong hands on my shoulders and His gentle voice whispering in my ear "I love you, my little girl, you may feel small, but lean on me. I'll help you." Those words give me the confidence to overcome whatever life throws at me.

Thanks, God, for being there and saving me once again. Thanks for the people you put in my life to love me and encourage me through the tough stuff. They truely are blessings from you.

So goodbye monster, I'm sure I'll see you later, but once again I have learned that I have control over you. You don't have control over me.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

100 Things I Love About My Husband















1) The way he smiles at me
2) His laugh when he finds something to be absolutely hilarious
3) The way he jumps when something scary happens in a movie
4) How "into it" he gets into everything. He's passionate about being passionate.
5) Having conversations with him in his sleep... priceless
6) His laugh in general
7) His drop dead gorgeous blue eyes
8) The way he does things like dishes and laundry (which he hates) for me as a surprise
9) The way he grills. He makes the BEST steak ever!
10) That he can't fall asleep unless he's touching me
11) The way he searches for me to hold after he's had a bad dream in the middle of the night
12) The way he jumps off the couch and says "Take that sucka face!!!" When he gets way into playing Halo
13) His wonderful back & neck massages
14) The crazy way he drives. Crazy, yes, but he's really good at driving. He could totally be a pro race car driver if he wanted to.
15) The way his hugs make me melt into his arms
16) The way he brushes his teeth with 2 hands
17) That he's not afraid to ask the hard questions ("So what has God been teaching you lately?)
18) How he always walks with his hand behind his back ready to grab my hand and lead me
19) How much more he loves God than me
20) The way he plays guitar with me
21) His forearms after rock climbing. Buff stuff ;)
22) When we go on a hike, how he waits for me and helps me up the harder parts
23) His sense of humor and how he ALWAYS knows how to make me laugh
24) How he somehow always gets me to smile at him even when I'm trying REALLY hard not to
25) The way he looks when he doesn't know I'm watching him
26) How much he loves his jr highers
27) That he genuinely enjoys and gets excited about having deeper conversations about God and the Bible
28) His fancy breakfasts. He makes the best waffles ever. :)
29) The way he wraps presents
30) How excited he gets over things like remote controlled cars & helicopters, hot wheels, etc.
31) The way he does laundry. Darks with lights, overfull, too much soap, shakes everything out rather aggressively before putting it in the dryer. It's just cute.
32) How he totally relaxes and melts whenever I give him a hug
33) The way he pulls me closer when I'm sitting too far away during a movie
34) How he just HAS to knock over things like piles of rocks, snowmen, etc. when he walks by
35) That he calls his female dogs "Bitches"
36) He LOVES horses
37) His facial expression after eating something bitter
38) That he loves sportscars as much as I do
39) That we're both WAY into the same TV shows and get overly excited when something amazing happens
40) The way he encourages me
41) The way he brushes my hair out of my face to look into my eyes
42) How he always looks for ways to make me feel special
43) The way he protects me from the things that hurt
44) The way he still loves me even when I'm PMSing really really bad
45) The way he holds me tight when I'm angry at him until the anger melts away
46) How hard he works to provide for our family
47) His nerdy Jr high pictures. He was stinkin adorable
47) How outspoken he can be sometimes. I love the looks on peoples faces when he says something they weren't expecting

















48) His amazing artistic abilities. He's the greatest jewelry designer EVER
49) His sexy Italian name
50) How he can literally pull off wearing pretty much anything. Even his grandmas christmas sweater
51) How he makes people laugh
52) The way he playfully embarrasses his jr highers till they turn red
53) How he takes care of me when I'm sick
54) The way he hardcore dances to bands he's really into
55) The way he dances with me
56) The way he lets me be myself. Barefooted, bubble blowing, dress twirling, skipping through the grocery store, silly little girlish self :)
57) He always everyday tells me that I'm beautiful
58) He never hangs up the phone with me without saying "I love you"
59) How much he loves my cooking. He would rather have mine than a restaurants. :)
60) His outrageously loud sneezes
61) How cute he makes himself when he really wants something
62) When he calls me his best friend
63) His silliness in general
64) How he genuinely strives to give me the things I've dreamed of having
65) How he begs me for my homemade chocolate chip cookie dough
66) His sound effects
67) How he leans over the counter at the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist "So, who makes more money, you guys, or drug dealers?" Just to see the look on their faces
68) How he always rides and plays on the grocery carts at the store (especially IKEA)
69) His patience
70) How he always listens to me
71) The gratitude he shows me for the things I do for him
72) How he promises to be faithful always and to never ever leave me
73) The way he tears up when a romantic scene in a movie or book reminds him of the special kind of love we have (shhh.. I didn't tell you that)
74) How he randomly finds and picks me cute little flowers
75) That he always wants to hold my hand everywhere
76) The way he loves hearing me sing or play piano
77) How he dreams with me
78) How he just has to kiss me when he sees someone else being kissed
79) When he sneeks into the back room at work to give me a big long hug
80) The way he remembers the little things in life I appreciate
81) The way he teases me
82) The way he looks in a v-neck, American Eagle jeans, and flip flops
83) The way he smells
84) How he knows when I'm scared and pulls me close to save me
85) When he reads my mind (he's getting really good at that)
86) How runs inside and buys me my favorite candy bar when I'm waiting in the car at the gas station
87) How much he loves being with me 24/7
88) How many memories we have together that create endless inside jokes between us
89) How much he loves his family
90) Our random Ice Cream for dinner dates
91) How he tries to look innocent with his mouth stuffed full after stealing a cookie off my plate
92) How he sacrifices his time to be with me even though he'd much rather be doing something else
93) The way he kisses my neck when I'm sleeping
94) The way he plays with my hair
95) The way he runs his finger up my leg and gives me goosebumps
96) Chasing geese in the park with him
97) Laughing till we cry after we fight over something stupid and realize how silly we are being
98) How cute he looks when he gets embarrassed
99) How he makes me feel completely adored every moment of every day
100) How 100 things I love about him isn't nearly enough to describe how wonderful and amazing he really is...