The Calm After the Storm, or the Bad Taste in Your Mouth After Vomit?

The feeling has not yet made it's self clear. After a year of intense frustrations we have moved on to the after effect.
Sometimes it makes me feel sick like the bad taste in my mouth after I vomit, and sometimes I feel peace like the storm has just settled leaving a clean earth. When I think about the agony, I feel sick with the reality of what just happened. But when I think of where the pain has brought us to, it brings me so much joy knowing that I don't have to hurt alone anymore.

I can count on my quarterback not to leave to play on another team because they pay more.
I can bake a cake and invite people over afterwards to enjoy it.
I can give a report and not be graded on my first draft.
I can confess to a priest and know that he's not wearing a wire.
I can know that my best friend won't pass around my most embarrassing photograph.

I have been speaking gibberish for so long and finally I am understood. They now know that the green blobs they've been staring at forever are leaves and not just green blobs.

My hands hurt so bad from being held shut so desperately, but they are open now. And gosh it feels good to let go.

Love.

There is more than one verse in the Bible about love. Anyone can say "I love you" but it takes a lot to really mean it.

John 15:13
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Jesus' example of this intense love was displayed on the cross, therefore if we can love another as He does (aka "I would jump in front of a bus for you" type of love) then we are one step closer to loving as Christ loved. But that is not all of it. It doesn't just stop there.

1 Corinthians 13

Love Is the Greatest

¹ If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;^[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages^[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ⁹ Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! ¹⁰ But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.

¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. ¹² Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.^[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

¹³ Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Conversation with my Savior - Gosh, I love Him

Proverbs 2:6 For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Psalm 18:1 I love you, Lord; you are my strength.

Proverbs 18:2 Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.

Proverbs 11:2 Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Ecclesiastes 10:1 As dead flies cause even a bottle of perfume to stink, so a little foolishness spoils great wisdom and honor.

‎1Tim 4:12 Dont let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, life, love,faith and purity