For the most part, I'm not very opinionated. I think this is part of what makes me such a laid back, easy going type of person... Except when it comes to food, but that's another story.
I can literally find something to love about practically anything, which makes life pretty easy going and enjoyable. I think about this as I exclaim, "Walking through wet grass in my brand new leather flip flops isn't so bad because it is cleaning off the gum I just stepped in!"
Most people would probably be pissed about either of these things, but for some reason, that was my first thought.
It's kind of funny how it has almost become a sort of game that I play with myself every day and any time something not so fun happens. I try to look at the bright side like Pollyanna, or think of why God may be using the situation, working it out for good. I have been learned to appreciate things more when I look at it this way too.
"Darn, I burnt dinner..... I guess this means we get to go on a date!"
"We have just lost power!..... Awesome, we get to use candles and make it look super cool in here!"
"My car broke down on the side of the road..... Thank you God. I needed a 30 min quiet break from life while I wait for AAA."
"They messed up my fast food order!.... Well, this is another opportunity to try mustard to see if my taste buds have changed"
"I just spilled juice all over my desk..... Perfect excuse to clean the whole thing. I've been wanting to do this anyways"
"The stove was left on and now my apt smells like gas...... Yay! I get to go on a walk instead of doing dishes while the room airs out."
"I only have a little bit of money left for groceries..... I get to clip coupons like I used to do all the time with my mom when I was little. What fun memories"
"My favorite purse just broke.... I get to go shopping for a new one!"
"The store closed early.... This gives me something to be excited about for tomorrow and I'm free to do whatever else I want tonight."
"They need me to do something I've never thought or wanted to do before.... Sweet! Free education! I get to learn something new."
"The home loan didn't come through, again.... When it finally does, I am going to appreciate it even more than I would have if it came easy."
"I can't have a dog yet... And I don't have to clean up the poop yet either"
"The car broke again, and this time took our whole months savings.... At least the car is paid off and we have another to drive, plus, it's only one month instead of more."
"I really wish I could paint our apt and make it more homey.... But this gives me more time to think about how I really want to decorate and I can be creative and hang a quilt on the wall for now."
"I scratched my Hillsong United Cd!... I guess I get to send more money to support an awesome band when I buy another one."
"What?! Rain in the middle of summer?!.... I've been missing wearing this sweater"
"Oh my gosh this kid is bugging the heck out of me.... Jenn, you get to get way better at patience today. And it's Mom training. It'll make you a better mom when you get there."
"Word got out about our small party with friends and 7 more people invited themselves over. We need a lot more food than we budgeted for... The more the merrier! Plus, 7 more people to extend God's love and hospitality to."
It's kind of fun, and the mood seems to suddenly shift to something sweet and wonderful instead of something frustrating and gloomy like it could have been.
"Situations can seem a lot better if you only change your perspective." It is a quote I have been telling myself for years. Its been on my fridge, my mirror, the background on my phone... and it's so true.
I guess I might have gotten part of this attitude control from my dad who has always said to me "Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens. Not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life" or in other words "You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it." It has been driven into me and it is something that he lives by himself. He even signs off his emails with this quote.
This statement has been a huge part of defining who I am and how I act. I roll with the punches, I take life one day at a time, I react the way I want to, not how people tell me I should.
Something bad happens and they say I should be angry... what? why? There is something good going to come of this. There always is. Even if I can't see it. Don't you realize? I have 100% control over the attitude of this situation. That's a lot of control.
It's not being overly optimistic to say that I can be joyful even when stuff sucks. It's not unrealistic either. Contentedness, and thankfulness are a choice, and out of these things blossom joyfulness.
It doesn't come naturally, which is why this whole concept is difficult to understand.
But the things that are worth it don't always come easy do they?
Tomorrow, our small business could fail, and then we could be broke, and then our car could totally break down, and then we could have to move to a smaller apartment, and we may have to get rid of our cats, and I may have to sell my bike... but you know what that would mean? A brand new adventure. We'd get to start a new kind of life. Try on another pair of shoes for a while. It could be an exciting vacation from the norm, and it will make us stronger as a couple. I could work at a coffee shop or clothing store which would be fun! And we could eat more pb&j and be excited about how much fun it is being able to eat it picnic style on the living room floor because we don't have a table anymore. Who says those things are what make us happy anyways?
See. Perspective. Attitude. 100% up to you how you react and it can make your whole world seem 100 times better.
This is my thought of today. A little more into the mind of Jennifer Elise Parisi.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Learning to Breathe
I will never stop learning. Every day I find out that I was wrong once again, and that there is a new perspective that I had not yet considered. They say this is normal for us early 20 somethings, to be constantly changing our minds about life and what makes the world turn.
It's a nice excuse to lean back on, that it's normal for this stage of life to be as unstable thoughtfully as a teenager at puberty, cause boy, is it exhausting.
I love to learn and to get better at things I suck at. And I love to hear other peoples life experiences and insights. I always seem to pull something new from what they say regarding something I had heard a million times before. Or learn from watching how the "pros" do it to better my technique.
The more I learn, the more I become aware of time. I only have so many years on this earth and there are so many things I want to learn about. I want to know all there is about cooking, painting, sculpting, needlecraft, quilting, music, organizing, economics, mathematics, theology, science, medicine, law, cosmetology, dermatology, psychology, politics, the stock market, upholstery, woodworking, engineering, auto mechanics, mass manufacturing, how to run a company, systematization, child development, botany, construction, interior design.... and the list goes on. I want to know it all. But there is not enough time for me to be a chef, a lawyer, a mother, a doctor, a CEO, a mechanic and an artist all in the same lifetime. It's sad, but I am still driven to at least try to know how. I am grateful that in heaven I will have unlimited time to learn and the best teacher ever.
I read the dictionary for fun, my favorite books that I own are The Professional Chef and The Family Medical Guide, I suck at long division so I do it on my free time to get better, my house is full of projects that I have made because I can't decide which hobby I like best so I do them all, I love watching infomercials for fun, I'm always thinking and strategizing how to get better at things. It takes 20 min for my brain to shut off at night because I'm always trying to figure things out before I fall asleep.
Life is so complex, and the more I learn, the smaller I feel, and the greater my God. The universe is huge and knowledge is virtually limitless. I want to soak it all in. But for now I still feel like I am only just now learning to breathe. And so we begin. Inhale........
It's a nice excuse to lean back on, that it's normal for this stage of life to be as unstable thoughtfully as a teenager at puberty, cause boy, is it exhausting.
I love to learn and to get better at things I suck at. And I love to hear other peoples life experiences and insights. I always seem to pull something new from what they say regarding something I had heard a million times before. Or learn from watching how the "pros" do it to better my technique.
The more I learn, the more I become aware of time. I only have so many years on this earth and there are so many things I want to learn about. I want to know all there is about cooking, painting, sculpting, needlecraft, quilting, music, organizing, economics, mathematics, theology, science, medicine, law, cosmetology, dermatology, psychology, politics, the stock market, upholstery, woodworking, engineering, auto mechanics, mass manufacturing, how to run a company, systematization, child development, botany, construction, interior design.... and the list goes on. I want to know it all. But there is not enough time for me to be a chef, a lawyer, a mother, a doctor, a CEO, a mechanic and an artist all in the same lifetime. It's sad, but I am still driven to at least try to know how. I am grateful that in heaven I will have unlimited time to learn and the best teacher ever.
I read the dictionary for fun, my favorite books that I own are The Professional Chef and The Family Medical Guide, I suck at long division so I do it on my free time to get better, my house is full of projects that I have made because I can't decide which hobby I like best so I do them all, I love watching infomercials for fun, I'm always thinking and strategizing how to get better at things. It takes 20 min for my brain to shut off at night because I'm always trying to figure things out before I fall asleep.
Life is so complex, and the more I learn, the smaller I feel, and the greater my God. The universe is huge and knowledge is virtually limitless. I want to soak it all in. But for now I still feel like I am only just now learning to breathe. And so we begin. Inhale........
Friday, July 1, 2011
Jennifer the Weakling :)
So, today has been a great day. And this has been a great week. Amongst all the chaos in my life right now, God is being glorified, and this my dears, makes me overflowed with joy.
God keeps putting a verse in my head and heart that makes me smile every time. Its like He is telling me himself over and over the exact thing I need to hear. When I am weak, good grief God looks so much stronger than I had ever thought he could have been before. It makes life so much more wonderful with this new perspective.
I can't help but marvel at how wonderful God is when things are in an uproar.
Its like a beautiful refreshing oasis in the middle of a hot, sticky, dry, dead, desert. Like a sunny tropical island protected inside a bubble from a massive hurricane. Like a breath of fresh air.
He is so far removed from all of the grossness of this world. its outrageously beautiful.
David wrote a ton about this in the Psalms and I think I am beginning to understand why and how he can say "Glory be to God!" in the middle of some really sucky stuff. It's because God is the polar opposite of any of the crap this world might try to throw at you, even if it is God's plan for you to go through hardships, oh my goodness, he is always there to confide in when it seems too hard. And when you come to Him, its like going from a place where lightning strikes and thunder roars to a place where all you hear is the breeze and birds chirping.
He is the ultimate encourager too. I find it flattering when he said in the Bible that He would never put us through anything that He didn't think we could handle, and he gives me some really tough stuff to deal with. That's a huge compliment. I mean seriously, it like the day that your parents hand you the keys to the car, times a million. That confidence that someone else believes that you can do it not only feels good, but makes you believe you can do it too.
I have felt a mountain of blessing over the past few months, even though these have been some of the hardest to go through, I can say without a doubt, Oh Lord, my God, how wonderful, beautiful, and glorious You are.
God keeps putting a verse in my head and heart that makes me smile every time. Its like He is telling me himself over and over the exact thing I need to hear. When I am weak, good grief God looks so much stronger than I had ever thought he could have been before. It makes life so much more wonderful with this new perspective.
2 Corinthians 12:5-10
New International Version (NIV)
5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I can't help but marvel at how wonderful God is when things are in an uproar.
Its like a beautiful refreshing oasis in the middle of a hot, sticky, dry, dead, desert. Like a sunny tropical island protected inside a bubble from a massive hurricane. Like a breath of fresh air.
He is so far removed from all of the grossness of this world. its outrageously beautiful.
David wrote a ton about this in the Psalms and I think I am beginning to understand why and how he can say "Glory be to God!" in the middle of some really sucky stuff. It's because God is the polar opposite of any of the crap this world might try to throw at you, even if it is God's plan for you to go through hardships, oh my goodness, he is always there to confide in when it seems too hard. And when you come to Him, its like going from a place where lightning strikes and thunder roars to a place where all you hear is the breeze and birds chirping.
He is the ultimate encourager too. I find it flattering when he said in the Bible that He would never put us through anything that He didn't think we could handle, and he gives me some really tough stuff to deal with. That's a huge compliment. I mean seriously, it like the day that your parents hand you the keys to the car, times a million. That confidence that someone else believes that you can do it not only feels good, but makes you believe you can do it too.
I have felt a mountain of blessing over the past few months, even though these have been some of the hardest to go through, I can say without a doubt, Oh Lord, my God, how wonderful, beautiful, and glorious You are.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
The Calm After the Storm, or the Bad Taste in Your Mouth After Vomit?
The feeling has not yet made it's self clear. After a year of intense frustrations we have moved on to the after effect.
Sometimes it makes me feel sick like the bad taste in my mouth after I vomit, and sometimes I feel peace like the storm has just settled leaving a clean earth. When I think about the agony, I feel sick with the reality of what just happened. But when I think of where the pain has brought us to, it brings me so much joy knowing that I don't have to hurt alone anymore.
I can count on my quarterback not to leave to play on another team because they pay more.
I can bake a cake and invite people over afterwards to enjoy it.
I can give a report and not be graded on my first draft.
I can confess to a priest and know that he's not wearing a wire.
I can know that my best friend won't pass around my most embarrassing photograph.
I have been speaking gibberish for so long and finally I am understood. They now know that the green blobs they've been staring at forever are leaves and not just green blobs.
My hands hurt so bad from being held shut so desperately, but they are open now. And gosh it feels good to let go.
Sometimes it makes me feel sick like the bad taste in my mouth after I vomit, and sometimes I feel peace like the storm has just settled leaving a clean earth. When I think about the agony, I feel sick with the reality of what just happened. But when I think of where the pain has brought us to, it brings me so much joy knowing that I don't have to hurt alone anymore.
I can count on my quarterback not to leave to play on another team because they pay more.
I can bake a cake and invite people over afterwards to enjoy it.
I can give a report and not be graded on my first draft.
I can confess to a priest and know that he's not wearing a wire.
I can know that my best friend won't pass around my most embarrassing photograph.
I have been speaking gibberish for so long and finally I am understood. They now know that the green blobs they've been staring at forever are leaves and not just green blobs.
My hands hurt so bad from being held shut so desperately, but they are open now. And gosh it feels good to let go.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Love.
There is more than one verse in the Bible about love. Anyone can say "I love you" but it takes a lot to really mean it.
John 15:13
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
Jesus' example of this intense love was displayed on the cross, therefore if we can love another as He does (aka "I would jump in front of a bus for you" type of love) then we are one step closer to loving as Christ loved. But that is not all of it. It doesn't just stop there.
1 Corinthians 13
Love Is the Greatest
1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Finally, I Rant.
I feel like it has been forever since I have last written.
Life, as it seems, has been far crazier than I anticipated it would be. It's crazy, but with things that aren't worth really writing about. If I wrote about life lately (minus the amazing trip to Italy, which I'm sure I will blog all about soon) it would sound pretty depressing since I would be reaching desperately for something interesting to write about.
Truth is, I have started to write several times but always hit the delete button because it all sounds so sad. I tend to navigate to my blog when I'm frustrated or angry wanting to write it all out and vent, but posting my frustrations to the whole world just seems pathetic.
And here I am doing it again. Except this time I vowed not to delete it, but simply write.
I write about how wonderful my life is with my amazing husband and my warm homey apartment with my two crazy cats and the delicious creations that come from my kitchen. That is my life. Wonderful. Flat out wonderful.
Sometimes I forget, though, and think and dwell on the things that aren't so wonderful. Then I get angry and depressed and upset and easily agitated and annoyed which makes me feel like a really unpleasant person to be around. I don't like it at all.
But sometimes I can't stop it. I hate it when a day that I have been looking forward to is ruined by the stress and emotions of something else that comes up. Drama. I hate drama so much. I thought that it was something I could leave behind when I left highschool and finally started communicating with adults... but the truth is, some adults still like to pretend they're highschoolers.
My happy little wonderful world is constantly being invaded and I'm tired of guarding the walls. It's exhausting constantly standing guard focusing all my attention on being able to spot the enemy before it attacks me first. I look over my shoulder and realize all the wonderful things I'm missing out on because I'm scared the second I abandon my post, my world will be destroyed because I wasn't keeping watch. I'm not free to enjoy life.
It's all because I care about people. And because I get confused and hurt when there is something wrong and they talk to everyone but me. Because if I didn't care so much about how much it would hurt them to just say exactly what is on my mind, to tell them when they are wrong, to treat them as they treat me, and freaking defend myself against they're hurtful words it would be so much easier. But God has given me a tender heart and all I can think about is how they feel regardless of how terrible a person they are. How much it would hurt them to point the finger back at them and tell them to back off.
I wish I didn't care. It would be so much easier.
But my life is wonderful. Goodness it is so wonderful.
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